


Happy New Year's : Crack

by Milk_Of_Arsinoe_The_Awesome



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Actually pretty offensive don't read it if you can get easily offended, Also Disses on Trump, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe-Random, And Apple, Crack, Disses on Thalico a bit so if you're a Thalico shipper I'm apologising in advance, F/M, M/M, Mary Sue, New Years, Nothing explicit, Randomness, Sexual References, Stupidity, Swearing, This Is STUPID, Walking Dead Spoilers, lots of curse words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 07:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9168295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milk_Of_Arsinoe_The_Awesome/pseuds/Milk_Of_Arsinoe_The_Awesome
Summary: Wrote this crack for the New Year's. Enjoy the OOCness, please.





	

**Author's Note:**

> First Off, this might not make sense because it's technically part of a collection of one-shots I write on Fanfiction.net. Basically, I fill out on one the "character replacement number memes" on Deviantart or Livejournal and write a one-shot about it. For this chapter I had done a poll on what ship to include for this chapter and Thalico won (each ship was a colour so none of the voters knew who they were voting for) If you want to check out some of the earlier chapters, they are all on FFnet. I may be not-lazy enough to transfer them over here one of these days. Lmao. 
> 
> The prompt:
> 
> Meme Result 51. If everyone on this list was stuck on a deserted island who would die first?
> 
> 1\. Thalia
> 
> 2\. Luke
> 
> 3\. Annabeth
> 
> 4\. Percy
> 
> 5\. Ethan
> 
> 6\. Clarisse
> 
> 7\. Chris
> 
> 8\. Grover
> 
> 9\. Rachel
> 
> 10\. Conner
> 
> 51b. Who would survive?
> 
> Setting: N/A. No, seriously. Not enough continuity. I guess it's supposed to be after the Hidden Oracle, though. If I had to guess.
> 
> Warnings: Don't read if you don't want Season 7 Spoilers of the Walking Dead. You have been warned. Also, I make fun of 2016. A lot. Because it's New Year's.

Milky O. Awesomeway was sitting in tree being her usual self. Meaning she was being idiotic and unawesome. Wait. What the Hades? BACKSPACE WORK! DON'T MAKE TYPOS! Milky O. Awesomeway was sitting in a tree being her awesome self. The thirteen-year-old glowered at her laptop that she may or may not have stolen from Apollo for making stupid typos. How dare it call her unawesome!

She was in the middle of hatching her new plan to do…. Well, something. No one was sure what she was doing, because she was awesome and for some reason believed that everyone believed so as well. Because they had to. She was the Author and the Sue of the story. So therefore she was awesome and everyone had to believe it too.

Because she was awesome.

In all honesty, Milky was crying about baseball bats named Lucille and torture porn while holding up a sign saying #triggered. It was a very confusing time.

Thalia blinked at her from the base of the tree. "Didn't you watch the Season 6 Finale? Uh, you knew that someone was going to get their brains bashed in…"

"I thought it was the cameraman!" Milky yelled exasperated as she started sobbing-and sucking her thumb nonetheless while holding a stuffed Glenn doll that had appeared out of nowhere along with an Abraham doll that sat on the ground yelling weird curses. For some reason several boxes of Bisquick pancake mix had been conjured up next to it, forming a sacrificial ring.

"Milky, you've gone, like, a year without writing a meme." Hyaline said in concern. "...Is there something wrong?"

"Oh, don't remind her of that." Thalia grumbled in distaste. "Thalico won the contest for this chapter. for which ship she needed to put in the story"

Milky shrugged while picking up The Hidden Oracle, not seeming to care much about this foreign creature, Thalico."Whatever, Thalia. I refuse to write a Thalico chapter. anyway. I might crash from the lack of gayness."

"..."

"So what's wrong." Hyaline conceded after too long of an awkward silence.

"Too interested in Hetalia and my then- new OTP Prumano… Then I became too interested in The Walking Dead. I even have an even newer OTP now." Milky pulled out her laptop and did some Fanfiction magic. In two seconds, the scene in which Daryl and Jesus share a bike was no longer missing from the Season 7 Midseason Finale. Also, there was a sex scene. Between Daryl and Jesus. Milky stared at the screen, drooling. Because Desus was the most awesomest ship ever. Duh.

Thalia and Hyaline decided she needed therapy.

"You need to write the newest meme." Apollo said, appearing out of nowhere, scaring Milky to death.

"I thought you weren't a god anymore. Go away." Apollo bribed her with video footage of her half-brother and Nico being cute. She reached out for it, though with a slight pout. "Desus would have been better."

"Well, this is all I can get you. This is canon. It takes less power to conjure up." Milky sighed, then looked at her notebook to see what the next meme was. She shrugged upon seeing it. Well, that seemed easy.

Nico was in the middle of a hot make out sesh with Will in the Apollo cabin when he found himself on some random lsland. No, seriously. There was even a sign saying "Welcome To Random Island. Isle Of The Plot Device."

Nico blinked. Milky jumped onto his back and handed him a computer. "Here you write the chapter. I'm busy." She walked away, watching the Solangelo love scene on her Galaxy Note 7 as it exploded all over the place, killing Harambe with its flames.

Milky threw the phone into a lake. It resurrected itself and returned to her hand as an iPhone 7. She screamed when she saw the lack of a headphone jack. "NO!" She ran off crying. "WORSE THAN NEGAN!"

Nico blinked again. He looked around at who he had to deal with on this island, nearly puking when he saw Luke and Ethan. Naked. He then became furious and sexually frustrated. Why in the Hades did those two assholes get closer to getting laid than he did before being dragged here? He then looked back at the list of plans for this chapter that Milky originally had. First off, he crossed Thalico off of the list of demands. No amount of votes would let that happen, no way. Ew. Then he walked over and stabbed Luke and Ethan both a million times. Done.

He looked over at the remaining group of demigods. Thalia shook herself awake and screamed when she saw Nico. Very out of character. She continued screaming uncharacteristically until she was sobbing like a baby in the corner, pleading for the Thalico god to fade hysterically. Nico blinked and then stabbed her too. He had no time for theatrics. Or OOCness.

Well, 3 down, 7 more to go. Then he could leave this island and go home to finish what he'd started with Will. He proceeded to stab Clarisse, Chris, Grover, and Conner. None of them were important enough to keep.

He then woke Percy, Annabeth, and Rachel up and the four left the island via Percy's magical boat he decided to call Persassy.

Milky frowned when she got the chapter as she had thought that the Meme would last longer than her Solangelo video. "Fuck it." She said and pulled out her most secretest, awesomest weapon yet.

The Trump Card.

She threw it at the White House, where it found the nuclear codes and Obama's secret birth certificate that claimed that he was from the…. United States.

The Trump Card—already angry that Milky had interrupted his not-sex with the totally not Putin card— got so enraged that he slammed his tiny hands onto the Oval Office desk and accidently sent a nuke to China for some reason, dooming the entire world to blow up and this chapter to not ever technically answer the prompt. Or make a lick of sense. But whatever the fuck.

Happy Fucking New Year's.


End file.
